Episode 10: Navigating New Motherhood: Staying Balanced and Breaking Patterns with Special Guest Liana Ross

Kayla: Hey, Leanna, I’m so excited that you’re here today. Because we’ve connected so much through Instagram. I was really excited to finally connect with you in like real, real time.

Liana: Me too. Me too. Thank you for having me on. This is a really important topic, as I, like, became a new mom, so I’m glad that we’re able to talk about motherhood and balance and all of that.

Kayla: Yes, yes, me too, and especially because you are an absolutely brand new mom right. Holds your baby Four months. Four months, okay, still fresh.

Liana: Yes, very fresh.

Kayla: But before we get started, I want to introduce you, because sometimes I will, you know, keep talking and forget, and I don’t want to forget this. So Leanna is a licensed mental health counselor and the assistant director of Gooding Wellness in Long Island, new York. She is trained in EMDR and specializes in trauma, disordered eating, body image, addiction and relationships. She is also the host of the podcast let’s Be Honest, where she gives her real view on mental health and pop culture. So, leanna, the first question I always ask my guests is what is your definition of balance?

Liana: It’s a great question and I was thinking about this the last day or two. My definition of balance is being able to do certain obligations, like work or things around the house, anything like that, and also having fun time and like self care. And when I think of balance I picture that pie graph, that, like I’ve even done with clients, where you kind of split it up and you know, with all the different areas of our life and how it’s split equally and that’s really the goal, hopefully. So my definition of balance is having an equal pizza pie, of course, as many boards as I can.

Kayla: Yeah, and since becoming a mom, how has that been in trying to give your time equally to all those pieces?

Liana: Yeah, it’s had to change a lot. I’ve had to adjust a lot and continue to adjust because as soon as, let’s say, I gave birth, something worked and then, until I realized it didn’t, and then it was adjusting again, and then it was adjusting again and going back to work and adjusting again. But I also think going back to work helped me find a healthier balance right, it was almost like baby took up the whole entire sphere and then, as time went on, I found other ways to fit things I enjoy, even work or whatever might be into that world. So it’s constantly changed and I feel like I’m doing a good job so far in like taking care of myself and balancing tasks and all of that.

Kayla: Yeah, that is a really great point that you made. You just said at one point baby took up that entire sphere, so baby took up that entire pie. And that does happen. And what I’ve seen is oftentimes, in the effort to try and keep the balance before baby comes or while baby comes, we can get so caught up and anxious about what if everything kind of like just ends up revolving around baby and that’s probably going to happen and it’s okay and recognizing, like you said, how can we fit in those other pieces so that it’s a more complete pie?

Liana: Yeah, yeah, and I agree with you that it’s okay for it to fill up the whole sphere. At first for me, like that, obviously, like I was just like, oh my God, what’s happening? How do I do this thing? Like I don’t know anything. And then, as I kind of got my feet on the ground, I was like, okay, I can now work out when she’s napping, or bring her downstairs when I work out, or have her do this while I’m cooking, and like it’s like a juggle, you’re constantly juggling.

Kayla: You you’re the freshest mom that I’ve had so far on the podcast. Would you be able to talk about how the transition has been for you, because you’re still so in the beginning? How has your expectation of what life was going to be like when they became? How has that met like your current reality and what steps have you taken to make shifts or changes that needed to happen?

Liana: Yeah, I really didn’t know what to expect. Obviously I don’t think anyone does, and I actually went into labor three and a half weeks early. So I fit and everything was fine. It was, she was just ready. I finished with clients that like a Thursday and then I was like, oh, I’m going to have like three weeks to mentally, physically prepare, like this is great. And that didn’t happen. So it was just really thank God, we were ready in you know physical aspects with nursery and stuff, but just thrown into it and I, surprisingly, was pretty calm, like I was like a level of acceptance of like I don’t know. It was surprisingly, it was very sudden, but it was also just smooth.

Liana: At the same point I thought I was actually going to freak out in the way of like, oh my God, I have to keep this human alive and now I’m bringing her home without the nurses and everything. But I honestly didn’t have that thought process and I think I honestly felt that way with my dog when we first got him as a puppy. I was like, oh my God, we do. And with her I think, because we were all in the same stage, with me and my husband and like my family, that we have the help and I knew I wasn’t in it alone and that was a big difference for me.

Liana: And when it comes to continuing to adjust, I mean my husband and I have had continued conversations where, like, if we run into a roadblock in regards to scheduling, or like he went back to work before I did, or his job is different than mine and just scheduling in different in general, and the conversations we’ve had to had and be like, okay, this didn’t work, we have to find a way that does. Or like, oh wow, we really have to communicate even the smallest thing that, like, we never even probably thought we’d have to communicate about in regards to schedule. So kind of realizing what works and what doesn’t.

Liana: And yeah, I really don’t feel like I had an expectation, like I, for me, working out is so it’s like such a piece of self care for me, like I love lifting weights and cycling and walking and all the things, and I knew I was going to continue it no matter what.

Liana: Like I was going to find a way, obviously being flexible at the same time. And at first I was like I’m bringing her downstairs in the basement with me and being okay with like her needing something and me having to stop, or then when she started napping more consistently, doing it when she was napping, like once, for me, when something’s a priority, it’s not about if it’s just when, like it’s not if I’m going to cook dinner, it’s when I’m going to cook dinner, or like working out, for example, like it’s not if I’m going to do what it’s when, or some sort of movement. For me, with those priorities, it’s easy to let them slide back of, like I’ve seen, like my peers and friends and people that I know who have had kids, but like I know I will be the best Leanna, if I keep those foundational pieces.

Kayla: Yeah, yeah. So I know you. You work with moms also. You have friends who are? Moms what is helpful for them in recognizing? How can they reconcile putting themselves first. You said for you it’s, you know that’s what’s best for you, and doing that is a way for you to show up in the best way possible. And I’ve seen, like the clients that I’ve worked with who struggle with being able to accept that that’s okay. What has been something that you tell your clients?

Liana: A big one is that we’re just not gonna be this perfect mom or even a perfect person, right, Like not trying to do it all. Just because you do something for yourself doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or a bad mom. If anything, you’re putting yourself first so that you can be even better for everyone else around you. It’s like that whole thing of you can’t put on someone else’s air mask before you put on your own. So cliche, but it’s true really, and it kind of goes back to that balance.

Liana: Like it is never successful at least that I see with clients, with friends when, like someone’s pizza pie is all in one area, whether it be work or the relationship or their children or anything Like it never works out when it’s swayed entirely one way or two ways. So yeah, I just, I really do go back to that balance.

Kayla: Yeah, I’m glad you brought that up in terms of usually it doesn’t go well when things are swayed too far on one piece, if most of your pie is taken up by just your relationship or just your work or just your physical wellness, because that’s not all of your life and things are gonna come up for you if you’re not getting or giving your energy to all the other places.

Liana: Yeah, yeah, and I’ve seen it suffer for people Like not having time to even go to therapy or and like you know what it’s like one, 45 minutes to an hour a week, like and it may just mean that’s not a priority, but like let’s talk about that right. Like if you don’t have time to do that, then there’s probably not a lot of time for really anything else, for self-care.

Kayla: Yeah, yeah. If you can’t prioritize something that you know you need or is really going to be beneficial for you, there’s other things going on, Totally totally.

Kayla: And one of the things that you mentioned is that you like to focus on showing up authentically. How have you been able to keep parts of you in the transition into motherhood, like balancing the person you were before becoming a mom, now this part of you that’s a mom, and blending them together?

Liana: Yeah, it’s been interesting as, like time went on, because I think in the beginning I knew immediately that I was not meant to be a stay-at-home mom Like I. Immediately I was like, okay, there’s no balance here, like I cannot do that. And I think what also really messed with me was the lack of balance, like the fact that I wasn’t seeing my friends as much, or I wasn’t even just like going places, I wasn’t seeing other adults as much, like because there was a lack and I couldn’t move my body in the way that I wanted to, because obviously you know healing and all that Like it was so weird and I hated it. So that’s how I know I need balance in my life.

Liana: But as time went on and we were able to do more things you know my husband and I able to like communicate and schedule certain things or say like, okay, I’m gonna go out with my friends, you can stay with her, vice versa.

Liana: Or like our parents helping out, like, and it’s just with a little extra planning and thinking ahead which I’m such a planner, so that’s completely fine with me or maneuvering, like we’re both able to do things that we used to always do, whether it be go out to dinner with friends or go to holiday parties or celebrate milestones with friends or anything like that.

Liana: We’ve just had to like shape shift a little bit. So like, as time went on, we started implementing some of those things more and also creating new types of activities, because now a lot of our friends are also having kids, a lot of them just need age, so doing those little baby activities with them, which is fun, and I think it’s also pretty nuts, as like you look around and you realize how much it’s changed, like how much things have changed.

Liana: Like we went to this farm with a few of our friends who have also very young kids, like same age around, and I’m like I just looked around like wow, like things have really changed in a year. You know, like we were here literally last year at this time at the brewery and at the farm and hanging out, and now we’re literally talking about babies and with our babies and it’s just really trippy to see how things change and it’s a new phase of life.

Kayla: Yeah, and I really resonate when you said I knew very early or immediately that I was not meant to be a salehold mom. That was not my calling either. I felt really alone when I had my baby, my first child. He’s eight now, but when I had him I had just moved back to my hometown, I had just graduated with my master’s, I didn’t have a job lined up and it was really hard for me to find a job in my community because it’s a small town. The online space wasn’t what it is today. It took a longer time for me to figure out what my next steps were During that time, because it took about six months before I finally was able to find a job, going from being in school to being surrounded by so many different kinds of people from so many different places in the country and in the world.

Kayla: Really because I lived with a family who had a foreign exchange student from India. We also had a foreign exchange student from Germany, and then I was from Texas and this was in Michigan. We were from everywhere to being at home alone with a baby, and my boyfriend now husband at the time was working all of the time. My family’s pretty young, so they were all working, so it’s just me and this baby. I was losing my mind because I was not being stimulated. My brain was just daytime TV. Netflix was not what it is today. Daytime TV was what? Wheel of Fortune and random soap operas, the price is right.

Kayla: It was a really difficult time for me. It wasn’t until I started working at that job that I started to feel like myself again and feel more alive and my creativity started flowing more. It was not a good space for me to be at home alone with a baby.

Kayla: I don’t think it’s a really good space for anyone even if you are someone who does feel that call to be a stay-at-home mom that the peace of being social is so important, not just for your mental health but also just for your overall well-being.

Liana: Totally. You said the word stimulated and that’s totally what I was feeling too. I’d go from, and you can probably relate you’d go from having these very intellectual conversations and emotional conversations with clients and colleagues to barely speaking because you’re talking to a baby who is sleeping at the time. It’s like being educated and then having your world be so small Not small and meaningless, but small as in one sphere. I totally struggled also.

Liana: My husband went back to work earlier than me and he was working from home. I think that was almost just as frustrating, because it’s like he’s home but he can’t help out. Then he went to the city and really can’t help out. I’m physically drained, but he also just worked the whole day. He’s also physically. We’re just both like drains for different reasons. I don’t know if I’ve adapted to the drained or I don’t feel like drained. I don’t know what it is. I was thinking about that the other day. Did I just adapt or do I feel less drained?

Liana: I also get breaks now because thankfully our parents are retired. They help out during the week when we work. Thank God, having that break to go to work or even run errands alone is really nice. Then when I come home and I see her, I’m like, oh my God, it’s the best thing ever.

Kayla: Yeah, Even now, if my husband notices that I’m being more irritable on the weekends or a little bit snappy, he’ll tell me do you need to go do something by yourself? Sometimes I won’t even recognize it when he’s saying it. I’m like, oh yeah, I do need to go do something by myself. You can get so caught up. It’s helpful to be in tune with your partner to notice some of those things.

Kayla: I’m not saying to rely on your partner to notice those things for you, but having that open and safe communication to be able to say, hey, this might be slipping. Do you need this time for yourself? You had mentioned that there’s things that you’re communicating on that you didn’t even realize was something you needed to communicate on.

Liana: Yes, my husband actually would do the same thing. He would be like go for a walk, just take a walk outside, and I’m like, okay, I need it. Then I’m like, yeah, I’m totally being irritable right now. I need to chill. Yeah, we just so many of these random conversations that we’ve had never been able needed to have, or scheduling to the minute or things that I never would have had, that needed to tell him that I needed to do because it was like whatever.

Liana: I think that’s why it also is so important to have a strong foundation with your partner. Then I think that’s also why we probably see relationships crumble or end up crumbling because there was never a strong foundation. Then, 10 years down the line, they’re resending each other. I’ve seen it with people I work with or just in society. It makes me more aware of how important it is.

Kayla: Oh yeah, it’s very important. I can speak to that from experience. When I started dating my husband in the summer, we met the summer right before my master’s. That was June, july. I became pregnant in November. We did not have this foundation. We are in such a great place now, but it took a lot of work and a lot of self-reflection from both of us to figure out how can we make this work even though we didn’t have this strong foundation.

Kayla: It is a lot of communication and recognizing that you’re still learning about each other all the time, no matter how strong that foundation is, and learning about yourself through the process, because we’re still growing. It’s almost been 10 years. Our oldest is eight. Even though it’s been a long time now and we’re in a good place, we can’t let that carry us. We still have to continue to do the work every day, because every day we’re together. It’s a choice that we’re making.

Liana: Yeah, I completely agree with that. It’s like every phase of life you’re changing, your partner’s changing for the better, for the worse, or?

Kayla: who knows? But?

Liana: it’s like we, anything that’s like whereas therapists we almost have a leg up, because a lot, of, a lot of us realize that and I think a lot of people don’t always realize that and, yeah, it takes a lot of hard work. So I can, I can almost see where a lot of people fall.

Kayla: Yeah, yeah, I wouldn’t even. I don’t know if I would say we have a leg up as therapists, but I think both of us really focus on relationships in therapy, not just like partner, like romantic partnerships, but just relationships in general, and I would agree that that gives us a leg up, because that is something that we’re always, I guess, hyper vigilant about is relationships and the types of relationships that we have and the ones around us.

Liana: That is very true. Yeah, yeah, relationships all the time, friends, colleagues, family members like, and I love doing it. So it’s yeah, it’s something probably in our forefront.

Kayla: Yes, yes, yeah, I that is. One of my most favorite like therapy topics is relationships and navigating relationships, not just romantic, but friendships and family and all that stuff. It’s like my favorite.

Liana: I’m telling you because it’s like, okay, you’re finally in an outside perspective looking in, and and I get it, because when you’re in it it’s so hard to realize what to do or how to do it. So, so, like to help someone and guide someone to do something different or say something to express their needs or whatever it is, is like so it’s just like such a good feeling because, like you’ve empowered that person.

Kayla: Yes, since you brought that up, I know one of the things that you had mentioned in our discussions and setting this up is you’re all about empowering women to be authentic, to be their authentic selves, and part of that is by setting boundaries and taking chances and speaking for themselves. How is had a question, I lost it. I think that’s the worst. What are some things you can speak on in terms of those three topics?

Liana: Yeah, so speaking about, like my favorite things to talk about are those things, the patterns. I see is that somewhere along people’s experiences is that they’ve ended up in this pattern of not putting themselves first or not even speaking up, not sharing their needs, being the fear of being too much. That’s something I was talking about with someone this week, like whether it be romantically or at a job, friends, whatever it is, and I even recognize it within myself prior to this, this phase of my life. So, and even something I continue to work on. So I almost I see a huge pattern, whether it be like a big traumatic event or whether it be not, or just learned behaviors, and you kind of see where it started and how it continues to be reinforced.

Liana: So now, as we see it as adults, and when I talk to people as like their adults now I love trying to get them to a place where they can be their authentic selves and realize like, oh no, that was like really messed up, like this is what I actually want, like being able to verbalize it, validate it and then do it is the coolest thing ever.

Liana: And, you know, maybe it’s society to well, I know it that, like as women, I think we’re taught to don’t ask for too much, don’t be too much, don’t ask for a raise. You don’t want to seem greedy, right, but if it’s, I don’t get to hold tangent, but like if it’s a man, it’s like, no, go for it, go after what you want, right. And like we may not even be conscious of it, but it’s just so deeply ingrained. So like being able to break some of those patterns.

Kayla: Yeah, and not only that. Not only are oftentimes women taught to not do those things like don’t be too much, don’t ask for too much, we’re also taught to give as much as we can and to always be vigilant about other people’s needs. Oh, do you think they need some more water? Instead of being taught if they need more water, they’ll ask for it.

Liana: Yes, I know it’s so true. It’s like, oh, if it’s for you, like you got to keep quiet, but if it’s for someone else, like you got to run and make sure they’re good, like and like. That’s why and now that brings my thought to how women, I think, feel really guilty to do things for themselves, especially when it comes to having kids, whether it be going back to work or doing anything for themselves, letting their child cry for like a hot second so they could eat something, so they could go to the bathroom. And I’ve seen this firsthand with people that I know of, like unable to eat because their child is like being a little fussy. You know, like that’s a hard thing to. I know if I’m not eating, I’m not going to be, I’m going to be that great.

Kayla: So, yeah, yeah, there’s there’s nothing. There’s nothing wrong with it. You know, to a healthy extent, right I? I a huge proponent of, like, gentle parenting and a mindful parenting, positive parenting methods and things like that. But that’s not to say your kids are never going to experience some tough emotions, that we’re going to teach them how to work through them and sit with those things. There’s a difference between being responsive, being a responsive parent, and trying to not let our kids have some what is it negative experiences that are healthy.

Liana: Yes, like we can’t be the net that always catches them Absolutely. Yeah, like that’d be great. But I think having them experience some negative emotions and negative experiences and consequences like it’s probably the best thing for them, obviously within reason and like safety. And there’s a thing between like an addiction world, but I think it it rings true here. It’s like the difference between supporting and enabling, like are we enabling the behavior or are we supporting them? And I think it gets a little mixed up, because if we set boundaries, that’s also supporting them. If we don’t set boundaries, we might be enabling them. So those get confused a lot.

Kayla: And I mean as moms I know that or as a mom and then as someone who works with moms. That is something that is hard to do If you never gave yourself the opportunity to do that before you became a mom. And so now it’s just like here is this baby that you have to protect and love and take care of for the rest of their life or, you know, until they can do it themselves. And so now you’re trying to manage how do I do this and also teach this child how to do it themselves?

Liana: Yes, because if I don’t have it myself, how am I going to teach them to do it?

Kayla: Yeah.

Liana: And it’s therefore and I created a post today about like I really use generational trauma, but like I also had in mind, like just repeated family patterns- so, as parents, we’re not practicing something like setting healthy boundaries or putting ourselves first. How are we going to teach that to our children? And therefore it’s going to get passed down, subconsciously probably, and they may struggle with putting themselves first. So, yeah, it’s important to be conscious of, prior to every all of this or whenever, that we’re aware of it.

Kayla: Yeah, because if it’s something that you’re struggling with and you don’t get the health that you need and deserve to remedy that, you’re just going to pass down those same patterns to your kids, and we know that’s not what parents want to do. Normally, parents want their kids to be in a better circumstance than them, but working on our own stuff is only going to be so much more beneficial, also for our children.

Liana: Yeah, yeah. And it’s hard when I guess some people struggle to identify that they have stuff Like that’s a big one too, and then therefore the children almost have to like and this is where I do a lot of work with, let’s say, young adults and they have to be the ones to set boundaries with the parents, because the parents didn’t have that awareness or set the boundaries or whatever it is. So now it’s okay, now we’re instilling it within us to protect ourselves.

Kayla: Yeah, and some of these things aren’t always very obvious, and I’m pretty sure that’s what you meant by like it goes into our subconscious, because there have been many times more times than not that I work with a client who, either on their paperwork or, like in the first session, they tell me oh no, nothing, my childhood was great, my parents were amazing.

Kayla: There is nothing that I need to work on in terms of that. It’s actually this, like my job or my relationship, that I’m struggling in, and it’s not always obvious how those patterns affect us in adulthood.

Liana: Yes, oh, I’ve gotten that so much with and I don’t blame them either where it’s like and I’ve probably even done it myself in therapy where, like, not everything’s good, and then as we get on, it’s like, oh damn like I didn’t realize that and you? Know and it’s not saying anyone’s bad or good or whatever it is but we normalize it Like it’s what we’re grown up and raised with. We don’t realize until we go to therapy and we start peeling apart these layers, because our patterns don’t come from out of nowhere either.

Kayla: Yeah, and I’m really big on usually mentioning, especially during this case, your parents. Likely if, if you come in with the frame of mind that your childhood was great, your parents really did the best that they could with the information that they had.

Liana: So true.

Kayla: So it’s. It can be hard, and almost can instill guilt, to admit that there is something that needs to be worked on in terms of, like your childhood.

Liana: Yeah, well, then it’s common to notice the defenses come up too, because we don’t, you know, especially if nothing was blurting out at us, right, it’s. It’s a lot to be able to admit, or even to verbalize, or have someone or say to someone else yeah, like that was kind of messed up what they did.

Kayla: What would you say is helpful in being able to talk about those things or being able to recognize those patterns?

Liana: I mean, it’s so helpful because I do a lot of work within attachment styles and how our attachment as kids or even just throughout life impact our adulthood and relationships when we’re older and that’s where we can either break the cycle or keep them going.

Liana: So by recognizing some of the things that we were raised with, whether it be positive or not, so positive gives us more insight and awareness for future relationships, future friendships, even relationships with colleagues, or just being an adult, seeing what didn’t work and trying to do things differently, like we only know what we know right, like that’s why I feel like and you probably agree with this like everyone can benefit from therapy, because we only know the things that we do from people around us, our own experiences, like we don’t know if it’s normal or not, or healthy or not.

Liana: So being able to see things in a different light and seeing if doing things differently could actually be more beneficial than the way that we’ve been doing it prior. So, whether it be like how do I navigate a relationship in a better way that might benefit me more in a healthy way, and also having more introspection and reflecting on who we are as people, is also a really big benefit of doing that work. I think it’s common as adults to like do certain things and be like, wow, like I am just like my parent or my sibling, and we don’t even realize it and we might even hate that thing about our parent or sibling. So I think having that introspection and that reflection, or having that person to reflect it back at us, is so beneficial to just self-improvement.

Kayla: Oh yeah, and you said it earlier in the episode that sometimes we’re just too in our life to notice those things, and so working with a therapist can really help for us to zoom out and see the bigger picture of our life.

Liana: Yes, yeah, I mean I’ve like gone back to therapy just for shits and giggles, like just to, like you know, see if there’s more that I can grasp at. I mean there’s always more, but, like you know, oh, I wonder what this person could offer me, or I wonder what this type of person could offer me. Like it’s such a great opportunity and thing that we can have at our disposal. It’s like why not?

Kayla: Oh, I agree, there is this guy. He’s a therapist and he has a practice in Florida. I think his practice is dude breathe counseling and the way he talks about because his focus is on men’s mental health, like his practice is like marketed to men and men and couples. But I love the way he talks about like a psychological tune up, like let’s just go in and see if there’s anything that would benefit you. And I feel like that’s really in line with what you were just saying, like it’s not gonna hurt to try and do a few sessions with a therapist to see if there’s any way you could benefit your life.

Liana: Yeah, I like that, the psychological tune up. It’s so true. Yeah, we only know what we know and I think what holds people back can be like ego or pride, and that’s you know we can go into, like the stigma associated with it. But I like the way that he phrased it because I feel like it’s so just like psychological tune up. We bring our car in for a tune up.

Kayla: Yes. You know, yes, because when you’ve had your car for so many years, there’s things that get out of lack or that need some extra care.

Liana: Yeah, and we can’t always see what’s under the hood.

Kayla: Yes, yeah same, and it also just gives you an opportunity to slow down and to really focus in on yourself and reflect. Am I living the life that I wanted to live or have I fallen into patterns that I really wish I had?

Liana: Yeah, yeah, it’s so easy to fall into certain patterns. Or even I mean, I have a lot of therapist friends, so like we’ll send each other very long voice notes and I’ll like phrase something, or I’ll say something numerous times. I suggest like oh, I don’t know if I’m being a bitch when I say this. And he’ll say things like you keep saying this phrase, like you’re being a bitch. Like why do you keep saying that? It makes me reflect on like oh, I know where that’s coming from. It’s like no, I’m being assertive, but I’m calling it me being a bitch. So it’s just a way for me to stop and reflect on this pattern that I’m not even realizing.

Kayla: Yes, yes, that’s actually something I call the client on, like not too long, like within the last month that I brought that specific thing up, because they would do the same thing. They would call themselves a bitch. I’m like why are you doing that? Do you recognize that you’re doing that? Yeah, and they weren’t being a bitch, they were just being assertive.

Liana: Exactly, exactly no, and I even recognized it. It’s like I knew I was just being assertive, but like it felt inside Like uncomfortable.

Kayla: Yeah, and those are those like subconscious, you know the subconscious part of your brain like coming out and like your body responding to that interaction with yourself and with other people.

Liana: Totally, totally Like if he didn’t call it out, I would have just been calling myself a bitch every single day.

Kayla: Yeah, and we are running out of time, unfortunately, but if you want to talk a little bit more about your practice, what you specialize in and how people can get in contact with you if they feel like working with you, would be a great fit.

Liana: Sure, yeah, so, like you were saying, I’m trained in EMDR, which is eye movement, desensitization and reprocessing, and it was founded to be worked with people with PTSD and veterans. But over the years, since about the 90s, they’ve done a lot of research and it is so effective for pretty much anyone with any type of mental health concern. So it’s done amazing things for my clients and I also do work with, like you were saying, substance abuse, disordered eating, body image, relationships, trauma. I work with people over 18 and I love, like the young adult to like 40s population. I feel like that’s really like my niche right now. I utilize DBT, cbt. I’m very solution focused and I’m very what’s the word? Like participatory in sessions, like I love having this like very strong dialogue with my clients and, yeah, because I love empowering them or helping empower them.

Liana: But yeah, so we’re located in Long Island, in Cold Spring Harbor, in person, and I do virtual for anyone in New York state and I’m the assistant director at Gooding Wellness. So, even if I might not be a good fit for you, we have about 20 clinicians in the practice. We have people who only work with kids, people who only work with adults, vice versa, addiction, family counseling couples, counseling neurodivergence, grief and bereavement. So I always say if you need help finding someone and you’re in the area or want to do it virtual, you can always let me know and I can help you.

Liana: And I do have a podcast called let’s Be Honest. I haven’t recorded since I gave birth, of course, because it’s been a little busy, but I have about 22 episodes on there and you can listen to me talking about pop culture, the Kardashians, bravo TV and mental health. And lastly, you can follow me on Instagram at your trauma therapist your trauma dot therapist, to be exact.

Kayla: Yeah, and we’ll link all that up in the show notes. So if you miss something, don’t feel like you have to. You know, rewind or anything, you’ll be in the show notes.

Liana: Thanks.

Kayla: Yes, thank you so much, leanna, for coming on and recording an episode, and I’m you know I’ve been saying this recently, but I’m sure this is not going to be the only episode we do together.

Liana: I agree. I agree. I mean I’ll have way more experience as time goes on. And I wonder what I’d be saying a year from now.

Kayla: Oh my gosh, yes, Now that you say that I need to put in my calendar to get with you in about a year at least, to do an update.

Liana: Yeah right. Like, how’s it going? Oh, I’m not doing anything for myself. My life is not.

Kayla: I was kidding Like it’s going to be great.

Liana: But yeah, to see that update will be pretty cool.

Kayla: Yeah, well, thank you so much again.

Liana: Of course, thanks for having me.