What if I told you that your attachment style isn’t a problem to be fixed but a key to understanding yourself and your partner on a deeper level? So many couples struggle to feel connected after having kids, and often, it’s not because they don’t love each other—it’s because they don’t understand the unspoken patterns at play in their relationship. When life gets chaotic and overwhelming, our attachment triggers are activated, which can make relationships feel harder than they need to be. But the good news? When you understand what’s happening beneath the surface, you can create more security and connection in your marriage.
In this episode of Love After Kids, I dive into the topic of attachment styles and how they shape the way we experience love, connection, and conflict in our relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why you react the way you do in moments of tension—or why your partner seems to withdraw or seek constant reassurance—this episode will give you the insight you need to start shifting those patterns. This episode is part 2 so If you didn’t listen to Part 1, I would highly recommend going back and listening to Episode 61: Strengthening Connection: Why Attachment Styles Matter in Marriage.
Attachment styles are formed in childhood and influence how we navigate relationships as adults. Many people assume attachment theory is just about identifying red flags or avoiding “toxic” partners, but that’s not the real purpose. It’s actually a powerful tool for better understanding yourself and your emotional needs. In this conversation, I explain what the different attachment styles look like in relationships, how they show up in marriage, and why knowing your attachment style can be a game changer for your connection.
Many couples unknowingly fall into attachment-based cycles that lead to unnecessary conflict or emotional distance. It’s common for an anxious partner to feel like they’re always the one reaching for connection while the avoidant partner feels overwhelmed by too much closeness. Without the right tools, this can create a push-and-pull dynamic that leaves both people feeling frustrated and unseen. However, once you recognize the patterns, you can begin to break free from them and build a relationship that feels more secure and fulfilling.
One of the biggest myths about attachment theory is that it’s set in stone—people assume that if they have an insecure attachment style, they’re doomed to struggle in relationships forever. But in reality, attachment is fluid, and with the right awareness and effort, anyone can move toward secure attachment. The key is learning how to navigate triggers, communicate needs in a healthy way, and build a relationship where both partners feel safe and valued.
This episode is all about making attachment theory practical. I share strategies for improving communication, navigating emotional triggers, and shifting old patterns that no longer serve your relationship. If you’ve ever felt stuck in recurring arguments, struggled with feelings of rejection, or wondered why your partner reacts the way they do, this episode will give you the clarity and tools you need to move forward.
Whether you’re feeling disconnected in your relationship or just want to understand yourself and your partner better, this conversation will help you build the kind of emotional security that strengthens your bond for the long haul. Understanding attachment isn’t just about identifying your past wounds—it’s about creating a future where you and your partner can truly thrive together.
Tune in now and start building the secure, connected relationship you deserve.
About the Podcast Host
Kayla Nettleton is a licensed TX-based therapist, business owner, mom of 3, and marketing coach for therapists.
In her private practice, Kayla helps women break free from cycles of anxiety, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Her holistic approach guides clients toward authentic, fulfilling lives by reconnecting with their intuition, setting boundaries, and building confidence.
Kayla also works with couples, especially parents balancing marriage and family. She offers both traditional couples therapy and focused intensives (6 to 18 hours) to help partners address key issues like communication, trust, and intimacy.
Through empathy and effective therapeutic tools, Kayla helps couples reconnect, thrive, and create healthier, more supportive relationships—benefiting the entire family. Her practice transforms self-doubt and disconnection into growth, healing, and lasting change.
Find Kayla on IG
@therapy.with.kayla
Email: kayla@kaylanettleton.com
Free Consultation: Schedule a Free 20 minute therapy consultation here.
Never Miss an Episode! Subscribe Here
Apple Podcast